im having mix feelings now. its like i feel so refresh after church and launching of actsperimen 4.0. but at the same time, all these stupid emo feelings come flooding in. i just cannot believe, history is repeating itself. im gonna loose 2 good friends again and turn everyone against each other. why, why do i have to exist and be that person. i hate this. 

God help me not react but respond. i want to see Your way. please. i just cannot do this anymore.