yeap im just gonna do and summary of 2012, i know its kinda late and all and no im not doing any resolutions but just to say what has been kept in my heart. i know most of you guys will say that 2012 is the most happening year for you, found your future, motivation, goal, love etc.. well it is for me as well. but this year brought me what only i can remember now, regrets and painful memories? not to mention the feeling of loneliness. i know i shouldnt be complaining, i chose all this. im not blaming anyone and im sure more other people out there are facing harder times. at least i have a college to go to, food to eat and clothes to wear. yea thats what i keep telling myself, to keep holding on even when i know im breaking apart inside. everything that happened in 2012 will always be in my heart, teaching and reminding me. from breaking up to IS to falling in love again to loosing hope to the stupid thing i did to moving colleges to separating from family and friends to all the complicated crap here. i learned a lot this year. i learned to always be happy no matter what, its unnecessary to reveal feelings. big decisions were made in 2012, decisions that i pray i never have to make again. i learned to never depend on anyone but myself cause other people would never want to really care. 2012 made me realize how important my parents are to me. and that a lot of people are just two faced lying thieves who only wants to suck to other people. made me open my eyes to how desperate most people are, wanting to impress others but in the end forgetting who they really are, even neglecting the most important thing they actually have. theres absolutely nothing wrong with being yourself as long as its not wrong. the world is always judging, when will these people ever be satisfied pleasing other people rather than themselves? anyways, 2012 was a bad year for me, lost almost everything that mattered to me. but i still praise God for it. i know He placed these things cause He knows that i need to learn :) at least it prepared me for what i think i would need in the future. yes im also still learning. i just hope that more good things will come soon to me cause even holding on now is suffocating me. yes people, im having a hard time. what youre gonna say about it? so please 2013, be good.
fell asleep yesterday at 6 and woke up the next day around 7 in the morning. when i got back to KK, a lot of people asked me how i was and hows the life studying here. i tell them its okay only, being truthful. and then people ask me hows my love life. i reply, its dead and i hope it will be for the time being. trusting people, even closest friends seems foreign to me now. getting into uni and spending time with my mom and dad is my top priority, every time i mention my parents, my eyes get wet. holidays in April are cancelled, my heart broke cause i wont be going home for 4 months plus.
