i practically just hate life now. i hate how stressful it is to wake up extra early everyday to do homework or study because i never have enough time to do so. i hate how the lecturers are competing to see who gives the most tests. i hate how tired and sick i am to even go to class. i hate the amount of work i have to do until sleeping is no longer a choice. i hate how even though im sick, i still have to do work and stay up late and wake up early again to finish. i hate how im having all these stupid dreams and insomnia even though im dead tired.  i hate how little passion i have now for studies. i hate myself for hating all these.

i just wanna go home and celebrate my birthday and just rest. is it too much to ask for? the only thing thats keeping me sane is going to church. ugh. 

im afraid that the journey is too long and fuel is running out. that i wouldnt be able to see the end. and just give up.